The Threshold of Doubt

              It has been a million years since I wrote a blog post, and there are a million reasons why. However, that doesn't mean I haven't thought about writing one a million times. I guess one of the reasons why is that I haven't been moved to the point to feel inspired to write one. This changed this past Sunday while listening to the sermon at church. We were sitting in the same service, same pew, with the same people surrounding us as in weeks before, but for some reason this was the week I felt inspired. Call it what you will, but I felt a need to take notes because I was going to write about what was being said. 

              Let me start off by setting the stage. It was a start of a new sermon series titled "The Grave Robber". This is coming right after the series we just finished up about marriage, which Darin thought was appropriate. (Just kidding of course;) The Grave Robber is all about how Jesus can make your impossible possible. I don't know about any one else out there, but I have alot of impossibles. As a Christian these words give me a form of hope and comfort as I face my impossibles, but then I posed a question to myself. How much do I really believe this? Don't get me wrong I BELIEVE, however I think part of my adult brain causes doubt. It causes doubt, not just about the sermon I was listening to, or the beliefs that I believe but with about everything I encounter in my life. There is always doubt! With doubt comes stress, with stress comes more worries then for most of us then we want to admit, these worries consume us. I HATE IT! 

              So back to how Jesus can make the impossible possible. As a first grade teacher at a Christian school I teach Bible to my students every single day. Most of our Bible curriculum tells the stories of the miracles that Jesus performed during his life here on earth. One thing I love about my first grade babies is their minds are like little sponges and they soak up everything that I have to say. Well most of the time anyway:) On a daily basis we talk about Jesus turning water into wine, Jesus walking on water, how he made the blind to see and the lame to walk, and how he can heal the sick. All of the same stories I was taught at their age in my Sunday school class. Just like my students when I was their age I would listen to these stories my teachers were telling me and have no doubt in my mind that they really happened. Sure Jesus walked on water, and sure Jesus turned five fish into five thousand and of course Jesus rose from the dead. I had absolutely no doubt these stories were true the same way my students today believe every word  of each story. Why wouldn't they believe? We teach them and tell them that every story in the Bible is true, I believe it myself, and I would never teach them something I didn't believe myself. 

             As I was sitting listening to my preacher on Sunday a thought came to my mind. When and where is the threshold where we stop believing everything we are told and taught, and start to doubt everything we are told and taught? I cannot pin point the exact time I stopped just knowing the miracles of the Lord were real, and when the shadow of doubt started to invade my mind. Then I thought how nice it would be to have the mindset of a child again. Not in every way, just in the way that they believe with their whole heart. Again, please don't get me wrong. I believe in all of these things but when it comes to my own life why do I have so much doubt? Why do I believe he performed all of these miracles then but for some reason he won't now? The most frustrating thing to me is that I have seen Him perform miracles in my life, more than once. He brought me my Ava after she defied all medical odds. He brought Trei into our lives so effortlessly you just know it was His will. I have seen these things over and over again, but still I doubt. That's the thing about Satan he creeps in when your guard is down. He creeps in and puts that doubt in your mind. The doubts about your marriage, your finances, your children, in every area of your life! Why do I give my big problems over to Him, but save all the smaller problems to deal with on my own. That's the thing about small problems, though. They band together and gang up on you. Several small problems can easily turn into one big problem. So why do I completely believe Jesus died, was put in a tomb and rose three days later, but I don't believe he can help me figure out how to communicate with my husband the way I should? Why do I believe Jesus parted the seas, but when it comes parenting my children it doesn't always enter my mind to pray about it? There is a reason he made me pick that pen and paper up on Sunday morning, and I can't wait for Him to reveal it to me. Thank you Matt Stieger for bringing such powerful messages to us each and every Sunday! Just know your words are important and you are appreciated!

Hope for Haiti Part 1 Travel and First Day in Haiti

Whoa it's been a while! When I say a while I mean like 7 months, but that's ok cause I'm back now. My life has been full of all kinds of ups and downs since my last entry but I'm not going to bore you with all those details. I'm going to stick with one really great "up" in my life since my last post, and that was my trip to Haiti. It's going to be way to hard for me to shove all of my two week trip into one post so I'm going to break it up for you so it's not so much at once. First I want to thank anyone and everyone that helped to make this trip a reality. It was truly a dream come true for me, and it will be once experience that I will never forget.

It has been a month and a half since our team of 11 set out for Haiti. On February 15th at 10:30am we all met at church with our friends and family all there to support us and to help see us off. It was such a great feeling to know so many people supported us and cared for us, and that they would all be praying for us while we were gone. After a group prayer and a picture we loaded up in the 15 passenger van and headed to St. Louis to board our jet plane. After a brief stop for lunch at Chick-fil-a we made it to the airport and boarded our plane with no major speed bumps. Even though the lady that checked our luggage in could have been a tad nicer, but I'm sure if she would have known our purpose, and if she would have known how green we were in international travel she would have let up on us a little bit:)

After an overnight stay in Miami at John's Aunt and Uncles house, who fed us some fantastic ham by the way, we were off. The flight from Miami to Port au Prince was only an hour and a half but felt to me like an eternity. I was so excited! So excited to get there, to see what there was to see, and to do what God wanted us to do. We had prepared for this trip for months and it was finally here. It all felt really surreal, and as the plane landed in Port au Prince by heart started to race. This was it, and I knew my life would change before I would land back in the States.

As the air turned on in the cabin the plane started to fill with the smells of Haiti. Quite honestly they were not as bad as they had been described to me but they were not pleasant either. The best way to describe the smell is that of burning trash. Everywhere you went it smelled like burning trash, which I got used to after a while. There was another group there with us that had been to Haiti and to the mission, Sonlight, where we were going as well. They kind of showed us the ropes and helped us through the airport. It was a relief to have them with us, made our first impression of Haiti not as overwhelming as what it could have been. Trust me when I say it was overwhelming enough. We went to another "terminal" of the Port au Prince airport which we had to take a short bus ride to. There we sat and waited for our puddle jumper ride to Port de Paix. We waited, and we waited, and we waited. We waited so long that we had to break into one of our totes that we were bringing with us that had food and supplies in it to find some kind of sustenance to get us by. Luckily the first tote we opened, right on the very top, was a Sam's Club box of assorted chips. It was like God had placed them right there for us because he knew we would need them. We were quite grateful for these chips, and we were not selfish, we shared them with the entire terminal.

 Hours later it was finally time for us to make our final trek to our destination. I had been dreading this trip since I found out we were going to have to make it. I'm fine when it comes to big commercial plane rides, but the small "puddle jumper" plane ride terrified me. Needless to say my fears were confirmed as we flew over the mountains to get to Port de Paix. If you can try to imagine driving down a gravel road in a truck too fast. You know how your back end fish tales as you go? This was the exact same feeling I had in this plane. We were fish taling while shaking and dropping, it was awful. Thank God my good friend Emily was by my side to help me through. As we approached Port de Paix I looked down and saw some kids playing and running around on an open strip of land. It took me a few minutes to realize that this strip of dirt and gravel they were playing on was actually the runway where this death trap was going to land. I started praying and I was praying fast. As you can tell from reading this post that I did survive that plane ride, both ways coming and going, but it was definitely my low of the trip. Apart from the sickness I felt from the plane ride and the gasoline smell that filled the plane we were all there safe and in one piece.

We were greeted by missionaries that are teachers at Sonlight and they helped us to get our bags and our bodies onto a flatbed truck. This was our mode of transportation from the airport to the hotel. Interesting doesn't even begin to cover this experience. We were all so crammed onto the back of that truck that I thought for sure we would lose someone along the way, but we didn't. Getting to drive through the streets of Port de Paix and trying to process all that we were seeing made it real at that moment. All of the pictures in books and magazines, all of the news clips from tv and the internet were there in real life. I was seeing this devastation with my own eyes and it was something I'm not sure I can fully explain in a blog post. I have posted some pics to give you a glimpse of what we saw. 

We made it safely to the hotel with no one falling off the back of the truck, which was a huge relief. As we unloaded our stuff in front of the Holiday Beach Hotel I was once again struck with anxiety because I had heard some horror stories about the accommodations. When we were showed to our rooms I was pleasantly surprised by how it looked. It wasn't near as bad as I thought it was going to be. I pictured the worst of the worst but this wasn't bad at all. There was running water and electricity at night time what more could a girl ask for. Plus I had two great roommates that made that first week stay that much more memorable. Love you Trisha and Emily:)

So after a long day of travel and experiencing Haiti for the first time we were all beat to say the least. We got to experience some wonderful hospitality from the Alexanders, the founders of Sonlight, and put our first day in Haiti to bed. We had to get rested up because the very next morning we had to get up early for our first church service in Haiti. 

However....you have Rheumatoid Arthritis

Those were the words! Those were the words I knew were coming but was still in some kind of denial hoping they would not come. On one hand I'm actually relieved to finally have a reason why I'm in so much pain all the time, but on the other hand I'm completely overwhelmed and almost in a state of shock. I mean I'm only 32 years old! But what do ya do? Well I'll tell you what I did do and it's Google it. Against all that I know and would recommend to anyone else, I Googled it. Talk about overload of information. From causes, to testing, to treatments anything you could want to know is out there. But with all that good info comes the bad. But we won't get into all that jazz.

I am so thankful that recently I have fell in love with working out. I know this might be hard for some of you to believe, but I am so disappointed if I miss a day and make an effort to get some kind of exercise daily. I know this will help my body so much in the long run in keeping me mobile and healthy. I am also thankful that this is something we do as a family, and I know that it is a permanent fixture in our daily routine. I can tell, even after only a few weeks, the days that I miss and they way I feel when I miss a workout. That is motivation alone to keep on this healthy lifestyle track.

So what's next? Well I am being referred to a specialist, hopefully in Columbia, that can help me with a treatment plan. I'm hoping for the best case scenerio and I will be feeling better sooner than later. I know with the support of my friends and family and my faith in God that I will only get better. I know there will be bad days, but I will look forward to the good days. It's just amazing how your life can change with just one phone call. Sometimes for the better and sometimes it's not so great but it's all a learning experience and everything happens for a reason. If He leads you to it, He will lead you through it.

Some of you may be thinking, why is she blogging about this? For anyone who knows me, they know that writing is my personal outlet. It's the first thing I think about when something happens in my life, whether it be good news or bad. It's a way for me to get my emotions out because we all know there is more room out than in. It's very therapeutic to me and it gives me a peace of mind. So I thank all of you that have taken the time to read and listen, and if no one reads it that's fine too. At least it's out and weighing a little less on my mind.

Top Ten Questions I Get About Sofia and Celiac

In the few short days since my post on my daughter Sofia and her life with Celiac Disease, I have been approached by so many people with feedback. To me the word feedback sounds kind of scary and negative but in this case the feedback has been awesome! The comments I have been receiving are mostly that people had no idea what Celiac entailed. Many just figured it was a food allergy like any other food allergy, and didn't realize it was so in depth. Not to down play food allergies at all, because they are and can be very serious if not handled correctly and in some ways I'm very thankful that Sofia doesn't have a food allergy. But that's a completely different post. The purpose of this post is to further inform all of those out there that still might have questions about Celiac.

Frequently I am asked questions about Celiac and what Sofia can and can't have. I also get the more in depth questions about the medical side of it. So here are the top ten questions I get about Celiac Disease and there answers.

1) Is Celiac a wheat allergy?

     A) No, Celiac Disease is an autoimmune disease that effects the digestive system.

2) Will Sofia ever outgrow Celiac?

     A)  No, Celiac is something Sofia will have for her entire life. She will never outgrow it no matter how old she gets.

3)  Is there medicine that Sofia can take to manage Celiac?

     A)  No, unfortunately at this current time there is no medicine to treat this disease. There are been research and I have heard encouraging news that there is something in the works but it could still be many years before something is developed.

4) What happens if Sofia eats wheat?

     A)  If Sofia eats wheat you will start to see the effects within 45mins to an hour. She will get very lethargic and then she will get physically ill. It takes a few hours for her to bounce back for it and feel herself again.

5)  What are the symptoms of Celiac?

     A)  Symptoms vary from each person. Sofia's symptoms included weight loss, fatigue, distended belly, grayish/fatty stools, dark rings around the eyes, and just and overall failure to thrive.

6)  How sensitive is Celiac Disease?

    A) More sensitive than you would think. Not only is eating wheat, barley or rye a threat for Sofia but there is also a threat of cross contamination. For example a knife that you use to butter your bread with you cannot use to butter Sofia's bread. If you stick the knife back in the butter after buttering your bread then you have to use a different butter for Sofia.

7) What do you do with Sofia when you go out to eat?

    A) It has taken alot of research and experience to be able to eat out with Sofia. We are limited to where we can go and what we can eat. There are alot of restaurants that have special menus to cater to people with special diets and you can also look up most ingredients online.

8)  Doesn't Sofia feel left out that she can't eat the same things as everyone else?

    A) Fortunately we found out that Sofia had Celiac at a very young age. She really doesn't know the difference. Thankfully the growing trend of health food stores has really given us a wider selection of foods for Sofia. There is basically a replacement for anything that she would want to eat. Plus Sofia knows that she has a special belly and she also knows what will happen if she eats something she is not suppose to.

9)  Does your whole family have to eat gluten free?

     A) No, considering Sofia can eat meat, veggies and potatoes it's relatively easy to plan family meals. The parts that get tricky is when we have spaghetti, pizza, that sort of thing. We usually make Sofia the same meal we are eating just modify it to be gluten free. Gluten free products are pretty expensive so it's not really in our budget for us all to eat gluten free.

10)  With all the planning, label reading, precautions that have to be made, isn't it hard for you?

       A)  Of course it took sometime to get used to, but hard NO! Considering the alternative to not living the gluten free lifestyle it isn't hard for me at all. Sofia is the one that has to live with Celiac. She is the one that has to learn what she can and can't eat, which she is so good at. She is the one that has to suffer the consequences when someone makes a mistake and gives her wheat. So it is not hard for me at all. I don't mind at all explaining to everyone what it's all about and make sure everyone is educated to prevent any confusion. She is my special girl with the special belly:)

These are the top ten questions that I hear most often. I welcome the questions and I'm happy that people are curious and want to know more about Celiac. So if I didn't cover a question here that you would like to know the answer to, please don't hesitate to ask.

This Moms Mission, Making Tracks for Celiacs!

As many of you have probably noticed, due to the invite on Facebook, the Eleazarraraz family is super stoked for September 29th in Kansas City. At Arrowhead Stadium on this day there is the first annual Making Tracks for Celiacs Run/Walk to be held in the KC area. These run/walks have been held for years all over the United States, but this is the first once close to home. So of course we are jumping at the opportunity to participate and to do our part to raise money and give back to raising awareness and research for Celiac Disease. 

Here is a little info on Celiac Disease. Celiac is an autoimmune disease that effects 1 in 133 people. Individuals with Celiac cannot have gluten (wheat, barley, or rye). Many people go years or their entire lives without being diagnosed or they are misdiagnosed. Many people that have Celiac are diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome, or other digestive disorders. A lot of people confuse Celiac Disease with an allergy, which it is not. When someone with this disease ingests gluten it instantly starts attacking the villi in the intestines. Villi are very small, finger like, projections on the small intestines that allow vitamins and nutrients to be absorbed into the body from the food we eat. Gluten breaks down these villi until they are non existent which then inhibits the absorption of all these vital nutrients. Going undiagnosed or not taking care of yourself if you are diagnosed can be very dangerous. Not only do you feel bad, but it can also lead to numerous other health issues from thyroid disease to cancer. So steering clear from gluten is very important!

Heres our story...Our daughter, Sofia, was diagnosed with Celiac Disease in the fall of 2008. She was born a perfectly healthy baby and continued to thrived until she starting eating table food. From 9 months of age to 15 months Sofia had stopped gaining weight and had actually started losing weight. We had started to become concerned when her spine started to stick out and her belly became distended. She had also developed dark circles around her eyes and became very lethargic. We decided to see our pediatrician to see what could be the issue. The doctors appointment left me more confused and angry then anything. I went with the idea that we were going to get answers to our questions not be left with more questions and frustrations. 

The doctor's idea was to keep a calorie journal, which isn't a terrible idea, but I had the feeling that the doctor thought I was starving my child to death. I assured the doctor that Sofia ate just as much as my other daughter, if not more. She also threw other things at us like she could have cystic fibrosis or cancer. These words terrified me and all I can remember is crying on the ride home, so worried to what my little girls future would hold. All I knew for sure was that something was terribly wrong, considering my little girl didn't even register on the growth chart anymore because she had lost so much weight. In a few days we got a call that the tests and blood work all came back clean, which was a huge relief. No cystic fibrosis and no cancer, so what was it. Everyone was at a loss. 

One night I get a phone call at home from a friend of mine from high school. She was a nurse in my home town and had talked to my mom about what was going on with little Sofia. She had called me that night because the symptoms my mom had described sounded to her like she could have Celiace Disease. My thoughts were Celiac what? I had never heard of this before, ever, but that phone call from my friend lit a spark of hope in me. I still believe to this day if it wasn't for her we may have never found out what was wrong with Sofia, because our doctors were at a loss and had no direction to go in. So the very next day I made a call to our pediatrician with this idea. Instantly I was discouraged once again, because the doctor did not feel this was the issue and wasn't even really willing to test for it. But I think since they were out of ideas they figure why not. More blood was taken and the tests were ran and sure enough, Celiac it was. Now let the questions begin. So much to learn, and so many fears but with God by our side and great, supportive family we eventually got  the hang of it. You would not believe how many things have wheat in them! We became really good at reading labels, really fast. We were also sent to a specialist who still takes care of Sofia to this day and keeps us on track. We have blood work every one to two years to make sure she is staying healthy. 

As soon as we had a proper diagnosis and got Sofia on the gluten free diet she became a completely different baby. Her energy increased ten fold, her hair started growing, she started gaining weight, she started to walk and talk, it was amazing. She has been going full speed every since. Sometimes we have slip ups and she eats gluten by accident, but it doesn't take long to figure out that she has had it and it comes right back up. It's enough for her to know that she would never eat it willingly and I'm hoping as she gets older that she continues to take care of herself. 

We love this little girl and we thank God everyday for putting her in our lives. She doesn't let Celiac Disease get her down and it has become a part of who she is. As a family we have learned to adjust to her lifestyle and it's a continuous challenge to educate everyone around her of what are the do's and the don'ts when it comes to Celiac. Sofia started Kindergarten today and school lunch is next to impossible for Sofia. Everything served in a school lunch has wheat in it and cross contamination is something that's hard to prevent. That's why this run/walk in September is so important to us. Hopefully through raising money to support research and awareness there will be a cure for Celiac one day. Or if nothing else we can spread awareness for the disease to people can get a proper diagnosis and to make life a little easier for those with Celiac Disease. 

If anyone is interested in joining Team Sofia and would like to walk with us in September go to www.celiacwalk.org and sign up to be part of our team. If you are unable to walk and would still like to pledge toward our cause you can also do that through our teams website which can also be found at celiacwalk.org. You can also pay by check, just contact me for details. Thanks so much for reading our story and for your support. 

All Good Things Must Come to An End! Or Do They?

In my last post I talked about the new and exciting opportunity I was getting to stay home with my three girls for the summer. Boy has it been an awesome summer! It was all I had hoped for and then some. I remember a time in my life when the exact words out of my mouth were "there is no way I could be a stay at home mom". Either I was way wrong or something in me has changed since that time, and I really think it's a little bit of both. The only part of the summer that I am not happy about is how fast it has gone by. There is so much more fun to be had and just not enough weeks left to have it.

Between going to the park, swimming and play dates we have made some great, lasting memories and made some great friends. I used to dread summer because my girls seemed to get so antsy and bored before summer even got into full swing. The key to curbing that is to keep them busy and that's what I did. But not only is the getting out and staying busy good for my girls, but it was also good for me. It got me out into the world again. When I was staying home and babysitting the only faces I saw day in and day out had food smeared on them. It was so nice to socialize with other stay at home summer mommies and build those bonds with adults again.

Even though summer is coming to a close and the girls will start school in just a few short weeks, the best part of our summer is yet to come. One week from tomorrow we will be headed out to California for a nice long visit with family and friends out there. We have been busy planning an agenda to get the most packed in to the time we have to spend out there. The worst part of the trip will be traveling with Ava! I love that third child of mine, but she is not a traveler. We can't go 20 minutes down the road without her sending everyone in the car in to anger management. So I'm praying to the good Lord that somehow she can keep occupied on the plane long enough for us to at least get in the air so they can't kick us off before we even get started. I'm pretty sure we will be safe once we get to 30,000 ft. They might not let us get back on to come home, but I don't think that would be the worse thing in the world. I could stand to stay in Cali for a little longer than planned.

So I know that once we are back home and settled in from our trip the reality will set in that summer is over:(
The good news is that I will have 9 months to plan for next summer, because I plan on taking full advantage of it as well. The one and most important thing I learned from this summer is things that seem impossible are always possible. All you have to have is enough faith and determination and you can make it happen. Never in a million years would I have thought I could stay home with my girls for three months and do nothing but play and enjoy them, but we made it happen.

The Miracle of Burdens

Man it's been a long time since my last post! Oh well, better late than never right? My life has been chuck full of ups and downs, ins and outs since the last time you heard from me. One of the biggest highlights of my life has been joining our new church family at Crossroads Christian and being baptized with my husband! Nothing is more special than being on the same spiritual page as your significant other and entering into a new journey with them with God on your side. "There ain't no mountain high enough, ain't no valley low enough" quoted from a very popular song, sang by artists that I have never heard of. I know this because I Googled it. But this would sum up how I feel at this moment in my life. Like I can overcome any obstacle or work through any problem thrown my way. Some of you may roll your eyes at this moment, but trust me, don't knock it until you try it. It's the best feeling!

One of the most important things I have learned through this journey over the past several months is the good Lord is knocking on my heart and I really need to answer. He is wanting to show me things that I have questioned for a very long time. Some of these things being "how can I be a better mom to my kids?", "or a better wife to my husband?", or maybe the most important one of all "how can I leave my mark in this world?" How can I reach people, through the word of God, to better this world? I know deep right? But thanks to some very important people that have been placed into my life this is my number one goal on my list. I guess you could say that I am tired of just existing, going through the same motions day after day, without doing anything that I can say that I am proud to be apart of. I challenge each and every person reading this to take a step back. Think about your lives and what you want your life to be. What do you want to be remembered for?

The first step in my journey is working on becoming a better mom to my kids! How do I want my kids to remember me? Or how do I want them to remember there childhood? Over the past year I have been babysitting in my home, which allowed me to stay home with my baby Ava while making a little extra money to make the ends meet. I am so thankful for this opportunity because it allowed me to be around full time for the first year of my baby's life. That's something that I didn't get the privilege of doing with my older two girls. But as the summer approached I got to thinking how awesome it would be to just be able to stay home with my three girls and take advantage of all that the summer had to offer. How I would love to devote 100% of my attention to my girls and picnic in the park, or go to the lake on those hot days to cool off, or go on those impromptu visits to family and friends. Unfortunately with all the perks that babysitting brought to me one of the downfalls was being confined to my home all day everyday. Not having that flexibility to spend that precious time with my kids was really weighing on my heart. Then it dawned on me....why not take advantage of the summer and spend it with my kids? Well the first scary thought that entered my head was, the money. That extra money I was making each week, could we live without it? Could we cut back in some areas to make this dream a possibility? After a few seconds of contemplation the answer was obvious! YES, it was possible. I would gladly exchange eating out several nights a week for the opportunity to spend the summer with my kids! I would gladly cut back on the frivolous spending to be able to take advantage of this opportunity!

I have faith and peace of mind because I know the good Lord will provide. He always has, and with faith, he always will. We are taking it one day at a time, and not one of those days will go by for granted. This summer is not only for my kids, but it's also an opportunity for me to concentrate on what mother I want to be and what I want my kids to remember. Of course none of this would be possible without the love and support of my husband, Darin. He has been my rock and my biggest supporter over the last year and a half and I thank God everyday for giving me such a great partner in life.

The moral of this blog is that if God has laid a burden on your heart, whatever it may be, don't ignore it! Mine was my children and taking the time out of life to spend quality time with them. What is your burden?

Goodbye 2011!

As this year draws to a close I am reflecting back on the last twelve months and can't believe how much my life has changed. Some of the change is for the good and of course some of the change is for the not so good. When it is all said and done however, I wouldn't change a bit of it. The story is true about how much faster your life goes as you get older. It seems like once I graduated high school my life has been in fast forward ever since. With this year being no different. It makes me wonder if it's just going to keep speeding up. I remember growing up wishing and praying the time would just fly by so I could grow up and be a big girl. Now that I'm hear I wouldn't mind it slowing down a bit, so I can enjoy, what I believe, to be the best time of my life. I guess we'll see what's to come.

Looking back at a year ago from today I would have told you, you were crazy if you told me I'd be a stay at home mom today. Not just being a stay at home mom but if you would have told me I would be doing daycare in my home I probably would have laughed in your face. Not that there is anything wrong with either one of those things, but I never imagined they would be in my life plan. I always dreamed of being a stay at home mom, but never thought the option was feasible. I have worked since I was 15 years old and I thought that would be my life until I wasn't able to do it anymore. It's so funny how the good Lord give you a fork in the road of life and what path he advises you to take. I look at it now as a blessing that I am able to stay home with my little Ava. I get to enjoy every moment of my last born firsts and I thank the Lord everyday for the opportunity.

Another blessing I am thankful for in the last year is my renewed faith and the strength that it has given to me. I have endured and overcome obstacles in my life that have only made me stronger. I am proud to say that I am a mother of three beautiful girls and that I have a loving supportive husband. Darin is my rock and he has truly proven himself as the best husband, father and provider this year. He has carried our family through many hard times this year with his support and love. I am so proud to have him by my side.

This past year has given me opportunities to really focus on what I want to do with my life. I have had many moments of reflection on what kind of person I want to be and that I want my kids to remember most about their mom. I believe that motherhood is a constant learning process and I don't want to look back with any regrets. I want to look back and know that I did the best that I knew how and I want my kids to be proud of me for it.

The best part of 2011 was the birth of my little Ava Rose. It was a long, hard road to get her here and it was worth every bit of it. Our family is complete with her and we are all better because of her. She has taught us to never take one single thing for granted. Cherish every moment you have with your family and never forget who made it all possible!

Kill it! Kill it! KILL IT!!!!

spider (noun): predatory arachnid with eight legs, two poison fangs, two feelers, and usually two silk-spinning organs at the back end of the body; they spin silk to make cocoons for eggs or traps for prey. Synonyms: wanderer

Well fall is upon us and these wonderful, eight legged creatures have taken this as an open invitation into my humble abode. For anyone who knows me they know that spiders are my absolute downfall. Over the years I have really made an effort to make peace with these horrible creatures, but to me, crossing into my safe zone breaks that treaty.

For several weeks now I have admired these creatures from afar. Maybe not admired as much as kept one eye on them just in case they try any funny business. But never the less I left them alone. I figure as long as they don't bother me I won't have to bother them. This arrangement appeared to work for both parties involved. Then the relationship seemed to go south. I started noticing one of my eight legged friends here and there. There would be one in my mop bucket, which I keep in the garage. I kind of let this slide because technically the garage is not the house so it would still be a neutral zone. Then they would sneak into the shower to surprise me in the morning when I was half awake, not cool. Then I would see one try to sneak across the ceiling in the living room as I'm trying to relax and watch some tv, not cool. Then I would catch them hanging in the stairways making their way from one level of the house to another, really not cool. The straw that broke the camels back would be when they decided to take over the laundry. As a busy mother of three I don't have the time to keep up on the laundry on a daily basis so the dirty laundry makes it's way to the basement. Once it's in the basement I sort it into piles usually and that's where it waits patiently to get washed. For some reason spiders love this. They see these piles as places to burrow and hide just to jump out at you when you least expect it. I don't know about anybody else but these experiences almost put me into full cardiac arrest. Not only does my heart stop, but I tend to pee a little in my pants.

After the initial shock then reality starts to set back in. Then it's like fight or flight. I am completely paralyzed with fear, but if I let it get away then it's like a free pass to continue to terrorize my home. And for some reason this year the spiders seem to be on steroids!! Literally! So needless to say my motivation to get my laundry done has completely diminished and it wasn't that high to begin with. I literally need a Xanax to get my laundry done.

So I guess from now until the cold of the winter freezes the little friggers off I will have to tip toe around my laundry room, with every light on, shaking each and every piece of laundry just to be on the safe side. Needless to say the peace treaty is void, and I now keep a shoe in every room just in case quick action needs to be taken.

Is It Just Me or is This World Going to S#*&!

Now that I'm staying home with my kids one of my guilty pleasures in the AM is CNN and HLN. As I drink my coffee I listen and watch story after story about how crappy our world has become. For the last ten years all you hear about on the news is War, bombings, tragedy and natural disaster! Am I missing something here or is the good Lord trying to send us a message? As I sit in the comfort of my own, comfortable home, my heart goes out to all of these people who are victims of these tragedies. One thing I have after being blessed with three beautiful children are the emotions of a basket case. I'm all over the place! I'm pissed, I'm sad and often find myself sick to my stomach after 5 minutes of watching the morning news. Maybe I'm a little embarrassed to admit it but I might shed a tear or two as I try to imagine what it would be like to experience one of these events. What would I do if I lost my home to a tornado, flooding or fire? What would I do if an inevitable hurricane was headed my way and forecasters predict it will be epic? What would I do if I lost a family member or a close friend to War, hunger or a horrific act of violence? I mean the list goes on and on. Then I think of my family and my children and the waterworks begin. What would I do? Then I find myself in a moment of silence thanking God for all that he has given me and all of the opportunities and good fortune he has thrown my way. But I'm still stuck with the question of Why? Why is all of this happening and why does it seem to keep happening at an alarming rate? Maybe someone is hinting that we should all take a moment of silence every once in a while and be thankful for our blessing. Just a thought.

Now, so that I'm not a total bummer on this beautiful Friday lets continue on a brighter note! Fall is on it's way, and with Fall comes the first Friday night football game of the season. I'm very excited to take Ava to her first Friday night lights experience, plus both of us need to get out of the house and blow some stink off. Then tomorrow I get to celebrate in the 4th Annual Fork and Cork Festival here in downtown Macon. This will be my first time attending and I'm looking forward to what it has to offer. If anyone of you out there reading this is looking for something to do tomorrow you should come on down and join us. It should be a good time. Then on Sunday Darin and I will celebrate our 7 year wedding anniversary! Now to try and find time to do the laundry and cleaning that always seems to sneak up on me when I'm not looking. Oh well, it's not going anywhere. Trust me I know, because I've been waiting to see if it will do itself and it never does.

So as we all go out to enjoy our weekends let's keep those less fortunate in out thoughts and prayers and thank God for all the blessings he has given us. Sometimes they are hard to find, but they are there.

Thunder and Lightening, Oooooo So Frightening

What the hell was that last night? I felt like I was waking up the the apocolypse! Growing up in Missouri I am not one to be afraid of storms or tornadoes either one. After the tradegies in Joplin and Sedalia I have a new found respect for severe weather. So last night when I woke up to what I thought was my windows being blown out I paid attention. Soon after I jumped out of bed to see what was exactly happening the power went out, then the panic set in. I couldn't see anything but by flash of lightening and what I was seeing was not settling too well. The wind was so fierce that I thought for sure I was in a tornado. It wasn't a few seconds for Darin to be right behind me peering out the window, and another few seconds for us to decide that our asses are going to the basement. Thank God for Android phones to light our way with the flashlight app. We rounded up our girls and down the stairs we went. Of course I'm keeping a brave face for my girls, because with the first sign of my fear I knew they would have mental breakdowns. But not Ava, she slept through the whole thing. So after 50 or so "what's going ons" later we made it to the basement safe and sound.

We had no power, no lights, no radio and Darin was hunting feverishly for a flashlight and some candles. The light from the candles was somewhat comforting and it wasn't long before I realized I was more afraid than my children. Ava was still sound asleep in my arms, and Zoie and Sofia were chatting away about tornadoes and how they were going to blow our house away. Outside mother nature was still beating the crap out of our house and then it hit me. Sofia's brand new trampoline was in the backyard that she had gotten for her birthday. I looked at Darin and said, "the trampoline is gone!" I couldn't imagine how anything would be left in the yard after this storm.

Once the storm died down we decided to head back up to bed by candle light, and surprisingly enough all the girls went right back down with no issues. I wish I could have said the same about myself. I laid they and tossed and turned as the thunder rolled and the only light still was the flashes of lightening outside. I was worried that my cellphone alarm wouldn't wake me up in a few hours, I was worried that the sirens for a tornado would go off and I wouldn't hear them, and I was worried that there was damage outside that I didn't not want to see in the light of day.

Considering I get up at 5:30am to get ready for my daycare kids I only had a few short hours before I had to be up anyway and then my mind started racing again. How was I going to watch my kids with no electricity? No lights, no stove, and no air conditioning. So this basically what consisted of the rest of my night.

When I did get up and picked my clothes out by flashlight, the tornado sirens started going off. Great! Now what! Was this for real, or just a false alarm? I peeked outside and it appeared to me to be a false alarm and soon after the power was restored. Thank God, cause I didn't want to take a shower in the dark. Then as daylight slowly crept in we could assess the damage. Trees down, limbs in the yard, and our trampoline was ok. It was in the neighbors yard but appeared to be fine. From reports that I have heard I think we are one of the lucky ones. There are several people who don't have power, Zoie's best friends trampoline didn't fair as well as ours, and one of my daycare moms said her neighbor had a tree in his car. So happy Monday everyone, surely this day will only get better from here.

Welcome to My New Normal

Well back to life as I know it is taking some getting used to. After six months out of the game I was ready to get back to life and take it by the horns. I just started my second week as a childcare provided and it is going great so far. The only bump I seem to be experiencing is Sofia adapting. She was first used to having Mommy all to herself and then she had to get used to having Ava at home. Then a few weeks later she is having to get used to having to share her Mommy with other kids and she is struggling. I'm sure she will get used to it, I just hope it's sooner than later. We are all having a great time though. It's so nice and I'm so fortunate to be able to stay home with my kids, especially with my little baby Ava. I'm not real sure I could leave her with anyone if I did go back to work. Since she is my last I want to make sure I don't miss a moment.

I guess I figured getting to stay home on a daily basis would give me more time to get stuff down around the house. Boy was I wrong. I am more busy now than I was with a full time job. I would trade it for the world though. I still get a few moments of silence between keeping the peace, serving meals, and wiping noses. Oh and don't forget changing diapers that's right in there too. All I have to say is thank goodness for nap time. Now if only adults had a daily nap time, then life would be perfect.

The Eleazarraraz family got to enjoy a mini vacation before my life returned to a new normal. We went to St. Louis and went to the Zoo, Grants Farm and the Science Center. The girls loved it. It was a great getaway and I would recommend it to any family. It's a pretty cheap way to have a good time. We picniced in Forest Park the day we went to the Zoo and the girls thought that was pretty cool, but not as cool as the carriage ride we took downtown after eating at the Old Spaghetti Factory. The horse the led our carriage was named Scooby Doo and had purple sparkly nail polish. The girls just thought that was it. But with all the fun things we had planned and saw all the girls could talk about was the pool at the hotel. Unfortunately the pool just opened the day before we got there and it was freezing cold. I don't do well with cold water. Needless to say my foot is the only thing that got in the water this vacation.

But most of all I'm so excited to spend my summer with my family. I'm already enjoying having my weekends free to spend with my kids and of course Darin. We can go see family or go to the lake, or whatever we want to do and I don't have to worry about missing out on anything. That has got to be one of the greatest gifts in life. To get to see my kids grow up and enjoy their lives is so important to me, and I'm going to cherish every minute of it. So stayed tuned there is more to come...

Goodbye Belly, Hello Ava

The moment has arrived! A moment of celebration that I have embraced and thanked the Lord for everyday since my angel Ava Rose was born. I tip my hat to all that never believed we would make it to this moment and the simple fact is that I would have to tip it to myself at times. Even though I now feel somewhat empty inside I am filled with a gratification that I can't even explain. The one mission that has been given to me over the last several months was accomplished and now my new reality must begin. With this new reality comes an overwhelming feeling of excitement and the sky is the limit. I now have no physical restrictions, with the exception of the next few weeks recovering from surgery, and I can't wait to feel good again. I can't wait to be able to take my girls on walks, and to the park. I can't wait to be able to exercise! Yes you heard it right here, I am turning over a new leaf. I am taking advantage of what has been given back to me and won't take it for granted again. My new reality will include an active lifestyle and not just for me but for the whole family. As I walk through my front door tomorrow with a family of five I will be the proudest wife and mom on the planet. It still really hasn't sank in for me I think. I'm still trying to process the last four months and all that me and my family have been through. I look at my new miracle, Ava, and I feel nothing but love. To know that this little person was in my belly three days ago is just mind boggeling no matter how many children you have. My belly that I have protected for months, the belly that Sofia said good morning to everyday, and the belly that has brought me so much pain for the last several months is gone. But in it's place is my beautiful angel that we have all waited so patiently for. She will forever be a reminder of the struggle we went through to have her, a reminder of you take nothing for granted or lose sight of how blessed you are, and a reminder that you can do anything that you put your mind to as long as you keep the faith.

T Minus 1 Week and Counting

So here we are. No one thought we would make it this far, but we all prayed for it and God prevailed. One week from this moment I will be holding my new baby girl in my arms and that's a moment I've been waiting for, for a long time. I can't even begin to imagine what that moment will be like. I can imagine all the emotions I will be feeling as well as my family and friends. You know that saying that it takes an army to raise a child? In this case it's totally true. Without our army of friends, family, and the endless hours of support we would have never made it. So here is a huge hug and Thank You to all of you! As the time grows closer I get so anxious to see what's to come. What will she look like? Will she look like Zoie? Sofia? Or will she have a look all her own? Will she be healthy? One more reason to put your trust in God. Let him take care of all that big stuff right? But still you can't help but wonder. The last four months of my life have been strictly dedicated to this little baby that I have yet to meet. I already feel such a connection to her that I can't explain it. Usually I would be working, preoccupied with many other things and thoughts. Not this time. This time I have focused all of my time and energy on every little kick, pain, and contraction. It has really put into perspective what is important in life and what seemed important before really isn't. At my last doctors appointment every nurse, doctor and receptionist I ran into had to tell me how amazed they were with how far I've come. Nobody expected it and I know when you have shocked your maternal fetal medicine specialist you have really accomplished something. So when I think about all the things I have given up...my body, my time, my job, my life I then in turn think about all that I have achieved and all that I am about to gain. It's an overwhelming feeling of accomplishment and it has forever strengthened my relationship with a God more powerful than any doctor, specialist, and pessimist.

Spring and All it Brings

Well the first days of Spring were wondermous! The girls played outside, the dog played outside, and I turned the heat off in the house. I love when that day arrives. To open the windows and let the fresh air in just puts you in a whole different place. Plus it kind of made me feel like part of the real world again. Life beyond this pregnancy is fast approaching and I get more anxious with everyday. to think three more weeks to go is just crazy. Considering where I started I never thought I would make it to this day. The only thing I hope is that she doesn't come in the next three days. Darin is on his way to the airport to fly to Minnesota and I just know that will be the time she chooses to come. Let's hope not.

But with the good there always seems to come the bad. Spring has also brought sickness to the Eleazarraraz home. Zoie has been sick since Sunday so I finally broke down and took her to the doctor today when it appeared she wasn't getting any better. Low and behold she has the strep throat. I guess we couldn't allude this ugly beast forever. Growing up as a kid I never had it and so far neither one of my kids have had it. Just my luck we will all have it by the end of the week and I hear it's horrible in adults so I'm really looking forward to it. My mom is coming to stay with me for a couple of days why Darin is gone and I gave her fair warning. Bless her heart she's coming anyway. May God be with us all. Plus it's cold today! What's the deal? I hate being teased! You can't give me a couple of warm, nice, fresh days and then yank them away to replace it with cold, windy, gloomy weather. Oh well, I know one of these days it will be here today. I wish it cold stay Spring all year round.

I think the one thing that I'm going to dread about the Spring time is the bugs it brings with it. Every speck of dirt, crumb on the floor, and shadow on the wall has turned into a horrible man eating bug. This really puts a damper on our outside play. I had to give my girls a flyswatter to take with them outside the other day and that still didn't work. So if there are any parents out there that have any advice for me on how to curb this fear please share.

What Doesn't Kill Us Makes Us Stronger

It's amazing and a bit upsetting that it takes hard times and sometimes even a tragedy to make us look at our lives and appreciate all we've been given. I wouldn't say that I never appreciated what I had, but I would definitley say that I took things for granted. I am very proud to say that from as far as I can tell, at this moment in my life, that will never be the case again. I have had so much time to reflect on my life past, present and future for the last few months. I have come to realize that it is a complete blessing that I will cherish for the rest of my life. Not too many people get the chance to slow down and take a break from real life. Not too many people get to take advantage of the time to evaluate your life with no distractions. Now I'm not saying that I haven't had distractions, but I have definitley had the time to deal with the distractions, accept them and take time for myself.

From all the negative that has been going on with me and my family for the past few months there are so many positive things that have came out of it. Not only have I got to spend some well overdue quality time with my family, but we have grown closer and stronger. There aren't even words to express the support and love that I have received from my husband during this time. He has been so supportive and kept me going when I thought I couldn't go anymore. He has been understanding, helpful and a continuous pillar of strength for me in all areas. I can never thank him enough for helping me keep my peace of mind. My children have been great! I have had the priviledge of getting the time to be their mother and to actually get to know my kids. Before it just felt like I was a mom from a distance, putting the burden of being mother and father on my husband. It gives me a huge sense of satifaction now knowing that I can be in that mom role for them.

On one last note the support and love I have gotten from my friends has been overwhelming! Having the opportunity to find out who your real friends are is priceless. The constant cards, kind words, and support has been a true blessing to me and my family. It's the small things that keep me going day to day as I anxiously anticipate the arrival of my little miracle. I cannot wait for everyone to meet the little girl that this has all been for. The little girl that has already changed my life before I even saw her beautiful face. Changed my life for the better.

Reality! Where Are You??

Ok, here we go. I'm finally in my 32nd week never believing I would have made it this far. It seems surreal to look back now to when this all started and think that I'm really on the downhill slide. But, with all that being said I'm thinking that I have finally reached my breaking point witht he outside world. Sure, I get out from time to time to go to the doctor or to do the occasional grocery shopping just to blow the stink off, but I'm really starting to feel a little isolated. I'm not sure if it's because we have recently had some decent weather or just because I'm the most impatient person in the whole entire world. The closer my due date comes the more anxious I get. Not because I'm nervous just because I cannot wait to meet this little girl I've been working on for the last several months. I feel like she is the grand prize at the end of the painful, never ending wait. The day she is born will definitely be one of the best days of my life. This is where I'm going to have to stop and recognize the man that has made this all happen and I have never forgotten that praise be to God and his amazing Grace.

Here is where it gets a little weird, so bear with me and try not to judge. I have a confession to make and not only is it embarassing for a grown women but it's borderline completely wrong and illegal. Brace yourself, here we go...are you ready??? Wait for it!!! I think I'm becoming completely obsessed with Justin Bieber!!! I will wait for the gasps to pass, because I so know what you are thinking. Staci has lost her mind! I've been trying to rationalize why this is happening and I think I've came up with the answer. Not only is my 5 year old daughter in love with him, but lately he is everywhere! Every television show I turn on has him on it, and that also includes all my favorite talk shows. Every music station, every t-shirt, every everything. It also doesn't help that I took Zoie to watch the movie at the theatre the other day. I figure she got out early from school and I knew she would love to watch it. I knew it wouldn't hurt to go sit at the theatre to watch a movie and it would be a great opportunity to get out of the house. It was actually kind of nice because not only were we the only ones in the theatre but I knew I wouldn't have to worry about Zoie being to loud and disturbing other people. Here is another confession I'm a little embarrassed to admit, but I kinda liked the movie. Oh, get over it! Actually the daughter that I was so worried about being loud fell asleep halfway through the movie,but not me. I was glued to that screen, smitten with this cute little teenager.

So instead of turning this into the creepy thing that it is I'm going to embrace it as something that Zoie and I have in common. I will use it as a bonding tool if nothing else. If that doesn't work then I'm going to blame the bedrest and being surrounded by his cute little image all day everyday. Like I'm brainwashed, it's not my fault. I'm sure this to shall pass like everything else but for now I am a BELIEBER!!!

Storm of the Century...What a bummer!

Alright, here we go with another snow day this week! What! And now there is talk of another one tomorrow! Just shoot me now! I know I might sound a little overdramatic, but I really think I have a case of the cabin fever. I thought being on bedrest was bad and it couldn't get worse...boy was I wrong. The one thing I had going for me was my weekly doctors appointment in Columbia, where I got a little bit of fresh air. But no, not this week it was cancelled due to the Storm of the Century!

Let me just start off by saying how much I love my girls! I think I have the best girls in the world and woudn't trade them for anything. With that being said...I really need school to be in session. Zoie has so much energy and no where to let it out, except for on her sister. Sofia is used to being home by herself and is having a little bit of trouble sharing her toys and her time. We finally went to McDonalds last night to blow some stink off and get out of the house. As soon as we walked in the door at McDonalds I realized we weren't the only parents who had that very same idea. All around me were parents with bloodshot eyes and kids running around like they were rabid. I would like to personally thank McDonalds for being open and giving us that outlet before I officially lost my mind. Who would of known that 5000 calories and two cheap my little ponies later I would have somewhat of a second wind.

While I was out and about I surely did not underappreciate the sights I saw. The mounds and mounds of snow, the cars that were buried to their hoods and all the heavy equipment that was out trying to rescue us sorry souls from our driveways. There was one ray of sunshine after this storm of all storms. Puxataney Phil did not see his shadow and spring is on it's way. Who cares if it was because he was snowed in and couldn't get out...it still counts!

Where Do Babies Come From???

If any of you out there know my daughter Zoie, you know how smart, beautiful and how inquisitive she can be. Sometimes I wonder if she is a 16 year old stuck in a 5 year old body. Please God help me when she really does turn 16. Anyway, I was fortunate enough to take Zoie with me to one of my doctors appointments a few weeks ago and ever since then it's like the flood gates have opened. Not only was she a chatter box in the doctor's office, but she has gone nonstop since that day. In reality I wouldn't have it any other way. I mean, how do kids really learn anyway? I believe it's through asking questions and the guidance of parents, But sometimes I feel the subjects get way above and beyond what I am prepared to handle. Let me just start with our trip to the doctor and then we'll go from there.



I believe it was my 24 or 25 week appointment, I can't remember for sure, I'm horrible with dates. I had taken Sofia a few weeks before and it went fairly smoothly. Well, as smoothly as it can go with a 3 year old plus an half hour wait for the doctor to come in. I knew that taking Zoie would be much more of a challenge. She is older, and tends to understand things a little more than Sofia does. The part that I was really worried about was every week I have to get an ultrasound plus an internal ultrasound to check my cervix. I knew that would perk her curiosity, and I was preparing for what my answer would be. I was really just hoping I could distract her enough so that she would even notice. Yeah, right! So during the external ultrasound Zoie was very excited. The tech was explaining to Zoie what we were looking at, and as hard as she was trying I'm sure she really couldn't tell what she was looking at. Zoie asked the tech how the baby ate. It was explained to her that the baby drinks the amniotic fluid around her and that whatever Mommy eats the baby can taste in the fluid. Zoie just thought that was the stuff. She thought that was pretty cool. Then comes the internal ultrasound...here we go! I talked to Zoie and kept asking her questions and she was throwing the questions right back at me...what is that? What are you doing? Of course I was covered so she couldn't see the actually procedure but the tools alone perked her interest. So as she sat wide eyed we watched the screen as my cervix appeared to still be high and tight (which is what Darin and I call it) which is always the news we want to here.

Overall I feel the appointment and the experience for Zoie went really well. I think it has made her feel closer to the pregnancy and the baby which is nice. Then the other night at dinner the flood gates opened. And this time I had no time to prepare and I was caught off guard. Thank God Darin was there to help cushion some of the questions, but next time I will definitely be more prepared. It all started because I had been to the doctor earlier that day, another good appointment Thank God, and so I was showing the girls where the baby was laying and where certain body parts were. Zoie was very interested in this, and asked once again how the baby ate. I tried to explain to her that the baby is connected to Mommy by a cord and when you are born the cord turns into your belly button. That's when the eyes got big! Zoie looked at me like she was looking at Santa Claus and I could see the wheels a turning. So then that started a whole belly button conversation and as the girls compared belly buttons I thought the conversation was over. Boy was I wrong!

Where do babies come from?? What? Huh? Are you talking to me??? Darin and I look at each other like a deer in headlights. Then here comes Zoie once again, " How do the babies get in there?" After several seconds of silence Darin speaks up and I take a huge sigh of relief. I thought the pressure was taken off of me and Darin was going to handle it. Then I hear his answer, "It's just appears in there." What??? Of course Zoie had the same look on her face as I'm sure I did. Like did you really just say that. Zoie is like, so it just happens? Then of course she asks "how does it just happen?". This time I speak up..."when Mommies and Daddies love each other so much it makes a baby." She was happy with that answer and seemed content. Another huge sign and praying that it was the end of the third degree. But if you know Zoie it wasn't. Next question...."So how does it get out?" I have an out here. It is one of the only times I am glad that I have had two csections. Easy enough, "right out of Mommies belly." Plus I have the scars to prove it.

I know it might not have been the full and honest truth, but I feel the conversation was good considering it was between two nervous parents and a 5 year old. The only thing I kept thinking was how Zoie is like a sponge and usually all the info she obsorbed came out at school, church and other random times to random people. So with all that being said I think we are safe for now. I think Darin and I put our heads together and eased the beast for now. As delivery day gets closer I'm sure there will be more questions to answer, but you bet your ass I'll be prepared with quick, witty answers that won't leave Zoie scarred for life. Any advice out there from other parents that have tackled this subject with their kids your input is greatly welcomed and appreciated.

Caution...There's a Crazy Up Ahead

Last night I saw something for the first time in my life and I would probably put money on the fact that I will never see it again. As I sit here 24 hours later I still think to myself that my mind was playing tricks on me. If Darin hadn't of seen the same thing I had I would think I was crazy, but at this point in my life I am very proud to say that I'm not even in the same ballpark as this man I saw last night. I just knew this was something I was going to share with you all so I hope you find it as amusing as I did.

Last night Darin and I were cruising on out of Columbia on our way home. The girls were cozy in the back seat watching a movie, and it all seemed to be shaping up as a nice ride home. We couldn't have even been three miles out of Columbia when the traffic seemed to be slowing and getting conjested. The weather was perfect, it wasn't during a high traffic time, and it was a Sunday. What in the world is going on? As we get closer, and the traffic is swerving into the other lane, I see a truck's backside fast approaching. Darin slows down and we proceed into the other lane and up ahead is what appears to be a small truck, probably an S10 or something of the like, and it has it's flashers on. To myself I'm thinking what in the world is this guy doing? Darin and I haven't muttered a word to each other yet and the girls are still quietly watching Strawberry Shortcake in the backseat. We continue to proceed around this trainwreck that I can't take my eyes off of and as we get right beside him I look over. I still cannot believe what I saw, and some of you might not believe me either. To my right was a man, probably in his 50's, I can't tell you for sure because I was so preoccupied with what was going on. He was driving his truck down a major highway, at night time, with no headlights on! I know what your saying what is the big deal? I have seen people driving without headlights before. But this man was driving down this major dual lane highway with nothing but the light he was holding in his hand. I can't even tell you exactly what this light was, but it was in his hand and he was shining it out infront of his truck! What!!! This guy was driving by the light of a flashlight, or a spot light, or a lamp for all I knew. I couldn't focus long enough to figure it out.

I looked over at Darin to see if he had seen what I had seen. Sure enough he had and we both started laughing hysterically! The kids are still in the back in a dead stare towards the video screen. Oblivous to what was going on. It was just as well because I couldn't stop laughing long enough to explain anything at that point. At that moment I thanked the Lord for such a good laugh (I really need them these days), and then I said a quick prayer for this poor, unfortunate man that he would make it where ever he was going. Not only make it there but hopefully not kiss himself or anyone else in the process.

I'm thinking that if I could pick any super power in the world right now it would be to have the ability to get in other peoples heads to see what in the world is going on! I'm just saying....