Spring and All it Brings

Well the first days of Spring were wondermous! The girls played outside, the dog played outside, and I turned the heat off in the house. I love when that day arrives. To open the windows and let the fresh air in just puts you in a whole different place. Plus it kind of made me feel like part of the real world again. Life beyond this pregnancy is fast approaching and I get more anxious with everyday. to think three more weeks to go is just crazy. Considering where I started I never thought I would make it to this day. The only thing I hope is that she doesn't come in the next three days. Darin is on his way to the airport to fly to Minnesota and I just know that will be the time she chooses to come. Let's hope not.

But with the good there always seems to come the bad. Spring has also brought sickness to the Eleazarraraz home. Zoie has been sick since Sunday so I finally broke down and took her to the doctor today when it appeared she wasn't getting any better. Low and behold she has the strep throat. I guess we couldn't allude this ugly beast forever. Growing up as a kid I never had it and so far neither one of my kids have had it. Just my luck we will all have it by the end of the week and I hear it's horrible in adults so I'm really looking forward to it. My mom is coming to stay with me for a couple of days why Darin is gone and I gave her fair warning. Bless her heart she's coming anyway. May God be with us all. Plus it's cold today! What's the deal? I hate being teased! You can't give me a couple of warm, nice, fresh days and then yank them away to replace it with cold, windy, gloomy weather. Oh well, I know one of these days it will be here today. I wish it cold stay Spring all year round.

I think the one thing that I'm going to dread about the Spring time is the bugs it brings with it. Every speck of dirt, crumb on the floor, and shadow on the wall has turned into a horrible man eating bug. This really puts a damper on our outside play. I had to give my girls a flyswatter to take with them outside the other day and that still didn't work. So if there are any parents out there that have any advice for me on how to curb this fear please share.

What Doesn't Kill Us Makes Us Stronger

It's amazing and a bit upsetting that it takes hard times and sometimes even a tragedy to make us look at our lives and appreciate all we've been given. I wouldn't say that I never appreciated what I had, but I would definitley say that I took things for granted. I am very proud to say that from as far as I can tell, at this moment in my life, that will never be the case again. I have had so much time to reflect on my life past, present and future for the last few months. I have come to realize that it is a complete blessing that I will cherish for the rest of my life. Not too many people get the chance to slow down and take a break from real life. Not too many people get to take advantage of the time to evaluate your life with no distractions. Now I'm not saying that I haven't had distractions, but I have definitley had the time to deal with the distractions, accept them and take time for myself.

From all the negative that has been going on with me and my family for the past few months there are so many positive things that have came out of it. Not only have I got to spend some well overdue quality time with my family, but we have grown closer and stronger. There aren't even words to express the support and love that I have received from my husband during this time. He has been so supportive and kept me going when I thought I couldn't go anymore. He has been understanding, helpful and a continuous pillar of strength for me in all areas. I can never thank him enough for helping me keep my peace of mind. My children have been great! I have had the priviledge of getting the time to be their mother and to actually get to know my kids. Before it just felt like I was a mom from a distance, putting the burden of being mother and father on my husband. It gives me a huge sense of satifaction now knowing that I can be in that mom role for them.

On one last note the support and love I have gotten from my friends has been overwhelming! Having the opportunity to find out who your real friends are is priceless. The constant cards, kind words, and support has been a true blessing to me and my family. It's the small things that keep me going day to day as I anxiously anticipate the arrival of my little miracle. I cannot wait for everyone to meet the little girl that this has all been for. The little girl that has already changed my life before I even saw her beautiful face. Changed my life for the better.

Reality! Where Are You??

Ok, here we go. I'm finally in my 32nd week never believing I would have made it this far. It seems surreal to look back now to when this all started and think that I'm really on the downhill slide. But, with all that being said I'm thinking that I have finally reached my breaking point witht he outside world. Sure, I get out from time to time to go to the doctor or to do the occasional grocery shopping just to blow the stink off, but I'm really starting to feel a little isolated. I'm not sure if it's because we have recently had some decent weather or just because I'm the most impatient person in the whole entire world. The closer my due date comes the more anxious I get. Not because I'm nervous just because I cannot wait to meet this little girl I've been working on for the last several months. I feel like she is the grand prize at the end of the painful, never ending wait. The day she is born will definitely be one of the best days of my life. This is where I'm going to have to stop and recognize the man that has made this all happen and I have never forgotten that praise be to God and his amazing Grace.

Here is where it gets a little weird, so bear with me and try not to judge. I have a confession to make and not only is it embarassing for a grown women but it's borderline completely wrong and illegal. Brace yourself, here we go...are you ready??? Wait for it!!! I think I'm becoming completely obsessed with Justin Bieber!!! I will wait for the gasps to pass, because I so know what you are thinking. Staci has lost her mind! I've been trying to rationalize why this is happening and I think I've came up with the answer. Not only is my 5 year old daughter in love with him, but lately he is everywhere! Every television show I turn on has him on it, and that also includes all my favorite talk shows. Every music station, every t-shirt, every everything. It also doesn't help that I took Zoie to watch the movie at the theatre the other day. I figure she got out early from school and I knew she would love to watch it. I knew it wouldn't hurt to go sit at the theatre to watch a movie and it would be a great opportunity to get out of the house. It was actually kind of nice because not only were we the only ones in the theatre but I knew I wouldn't have to worry about Zoie being to loud and disturbing other people. Here is another confession I'm a little embarrassed to admit, but I kinda liked the movie. Oh, get over it! Actually the daughter that I was so worried about being loud fell asleep halfway through the movie,but not me. I was glued to that screen, smitten with this cute little teenager.

So instead of turning this into the creepy thing that it is I'm going to embrace it as something that Zoie and I have in common. I will use it as a bonding tool if nothing else. If that doesn't work then I'm going to blame the bedrest and being surrounded by his cute little image all day everyday. Like I'm brainwashed, it's not my fault. I'm sure this to shall pass like everything else but for now I am a BELIEBER!!!

Storm of the Century...What a bummer!

Alright, here we go with another snow day this week! What! And now there is talk of another one tomorrow! Just shoot me now! I know I might sound a little overdramatic, but I really think I have a case of the cabin fever. I thought being on bedrest was bad and it couldn't get worse...boy was I wrong. The one thing I had going for me was my weekly doctors appointment in Columbia, where I got a little bit of fresh air. But no, not this week it was cancelled due to the Storm of the Century!

Let me just start off by saying how much I love my girls! I think I have the best girls in the world and woudn't trade them for anything. With that being said...I really need school to be in session. Zoie has so much energy and no where to let it out, except for on her sister. Sofia is used to being home by herself and is having a little bit of trouble sharing her toys and her time. We finally went to McDonalds last night to blow some stink off and get out of the house. As soon as we walked in the door at McDonalds I realized we weren't the only parents who had that very same idea. All around me were parents with bloodshot eyes and kids running around like they were rabid. I would like to personally thank McDonalds for being open and giving us that outlet before I officially lost my mind. Who would of known that 5000 calories and two cheap my little ponies later I would have somewhat of a second wind.

While I was out and about I surely did not underappreciate the sights I saw. The mounds and mounds of snow, the cars that were buried to their hoods and all the heavy equipment that was out trying to rescue us sorry souls from our driveways. There was one ray of sunshine after this storm of all storms. Puxataney Phil did not see his shadow and spring is on it's way. Who cares if it was because he was snowed in and couldn't get out...it still counts!

Where Do Babies Come From???

If any of you out there know my daughter Zoie, you know how smart, beautiful and how inquisitive she can be. Sometimes I wonder if she is a 16 year old stuck in a 5 year old body. Please God help me when she really does turn 16. Anyway, I was fortunate enough to take Zoie with me to one of my doctors appointments a few weeks ago and ever since then it's like the flood gates have opened. Not only was she a chatter box in the doctor's office, but she has gone nonstop since that day. In reality I wouldn't have it any other way. I mean, how do kids really learn anyway? I believe it's through asking questions and the guidance of parents, But sometimes I feel the subjects get way above and beyond what I am prepared to handle. Let me just start with our trip to the doctor and then we'll go from there.



I believe it was my 24 or 25 week appointment, I can't remember for sure, I'm horrible with dates. I had taken Sofia a few weeks before and it went fairly smoothly. Well, as smoothly as it can go with a 3 year old plus an half hour wait for the doctor to come in. I knew that taking Zoie would be much more of a challenge. She is older, and tends to understand things a little more than Sofia does. The part that I was really worried about was every week I have to get an ultrasound plus an internal ultrasound to check my cervix. I knew that would perk her curiosity, and I was preparing for what my answer would be. I was really just hoping I could distract her enough so that she would even notice. Yeah, right! So during the external ultrasound Zoie was very excited. The tech was explaining to Zoie what we were looking at, and as hard as she was trying I'm sure she really couldn't tell what she was looking at. Zoie asked the tech how the baby ate. It was explained to her that the baby drinks the amniotic fluid around her and that whatever Mommy eats the baby can taste in the fluid. Zoie just thought that was the stuff. She thought that was pretty cool. Then comes the internal ultrasound...here we go! I talked to Zoie and kept asking her questions and she was throwing the questions right back at me...what is that? What are you doing? Of course I was covered so she couldn't see the actually procedure but the tools alone perked her interest. So as she sat wide eyed we watched the screen as my cervix appeared to still be high and tight (which is what Darin and I call it) which is always the news we want to here.

Overall I feel the appointment and the experience for Zoie went really well. I think it has made her feel closer to the pregnancy and the baby which is nice. Then the other night at dinner the flood gates opened. And this time I had no time to prepare and I was caught off guard. Thank God Darin was there to help cushion some of the questions, but next time I will definitely be more prepared. It all started because I had been to the doctor earlier that day, another good appointment Thank God, and so I was showing the girls where the baby was laying and where certain body parts were. Zoie was very interested in this, and asked once again how the baby ate. I tried to explain to her that the baby is connected to Mommy by a cord and when you are born the cord turns into your belly button. That's when the eyes got big! Zoie looked at me like she was looking at Santa Claus and I could see the wheels a turning. So then that started a whole belly button conversation and as the girls compared belly buttons I thought the conversation was over. Boy was I wrong!

Where do babies come from?? What? Huh? Are you talking to me??? Darin and I look at each other like a deer in headlights. Then here comes Zoie once again, " How do the babies get in there?" After several seconds of silence Darin speaks up and I take a huge sigh of relief. I thought the pressure was taken off of me and Darin was going to handle it. Then I hear his answer, "It's just appears in there." What??? Of course Zoie had the same look on her face as I'm sure I did. Like did you really just say that. Zoie is like, so it just happens? Then of course she asks "how does it just happen?". This time I speak up..."when Mommies and Daddies love each other so much it makes a baby." She was happy with that answer and seemed content. Another huge sign and praying that it was the end of the third degree. But if you know Zoie it wasn't. Next question...."So how does it get out?" I have an out here. It is one of the only times I am glad that I have had two csections. Easy enough, "right out of Mommies belly." Plus I have the scars to prove it.

I know it might not have been the full and honest truth, but I feel the conversation was good considering it was between two nervous parents and a 5 year old. The only thing I kept thinking was how Zoie is like a sponge and usually all the info she obsorbed came out at school, church and other random times to random people. So with all that being said I think we are safe for now. I think Darin and I put our heads together and eased the beast for now. As delivery day gets closer I'm sure there will be more questions to answer, but you bet your ass I'll be prepared with quick, witty answers that won't leave Zoie scarred for life. Any advice out there from other parents that have tackled this subject with their kids your input is greatly welcomed and appreciated.

Caution...There's a Crazy Up Ahead

Last night I saw something for the first time in my life and I would probably put money on the fact that I will never see it again. As I sit here 24 hours later I still think to myself that my mind was playing tricks on me. If Darin hadn't of seen the same thing I had I would think I was crazy, but at this point in my life I am very proud to say that I'm not even in the same ballpark as this man I saw last night. I just knew this was something I was going to share with you all so I hope you find it as amusing as I did.

Last night Darin and I were cruising on out of Columbia on our way home. The girls were cozy in the back seat watching a movie, and it all seemed to be shaping up as a nice ride home. We couldn't have even been three miles out of Columbia when the traffic seemed to be slowing and getting conjested. The weather was perfect, it wasn't during a high traffic time, and it was a Sunday. What in the world is going on? As we get closer, and the traffic is swerving into the other lane, I see a truck's backside fast approaching. Darin slows down and we proceed into the other lane and up ahead is what appears to be a small truck, probably an S10 or something of the like, and it has it's flashers on. To myself I'm thinking what in the world is this guy doing? Darin and I haven't muttered a word to each other yet and the girls are still quietly watching Strawberry Shortcake in the backseat. We continue to proceed around this trainwreck that I can't take my eyes off of and as we get right beside him I look over. I still cannot believe what I saw, and some of you might not believe me either. To my right was a man, probably in his 50's, I can't tell you for sure because I was so preoccupied with what was going on. He was driving his truck down a major highway, at night time, with no headlights on! I know what your saying what is the big deal? I have seen people driving without headlights before. But this man was driving down this major dual lane highway with nothing but the light he was holding in his hand. I can't even tell you exactly what this light was, but it was in his hand and he was shining it out infront of his truck! What!!! This guy was driving by the light of a flashlight, or a spot light, or a lamp for all I knew. I couldn't focus long enough to figure it out.

I looked over at Darin to see if he had seen what I had seen. Sure enough he had and we both started laughing hysterically! The kids are still in the back in a dead stare towards the video screen. Oblivous to what was going on. It was just as well because I couldn't stop laughing long enough to explain anything at that point. At that moment I thanked the Lord for such a good laugh (I really need them these days), and then I said a quick prayer for this poor, unfortunate man that he would make it where ever he was going. Not only make it there but hopefully not kiss himself or anyone else in the process.

I'm thinking that if I could pick any super power in the world right now it would be to have the ability to get in other peoples heads to see what in the world is going on! I'm just saying....

I Have A Dream

In honor of Martin Luther King, Jr. I am dedicating my next post to him. This is my version of the famous speech I Have A Dream....

I Have A Dream to live in a world where love is the majority and hate is the minority. I Have A Dream to live in a world where I don't have to worry about my kids when they are at school or in any public place for that matter. A world where you can go to the grocery store and not have to worry about guns, violence or crime. I Have A Dream to live in a world where the only thing you have is true friends and family and you don't have to worry about the ones that are your friends or family only to exploit you. Where you don't have to worry about them being your friends one day and not the next.

I Have A Dream that the future of this country will be of great promise and it will be a place where my children and my children's children will be proud to live. A Dream to live in a world without war, and without all the pain and suffering that comes with it. I Have A Dream to live in a world where children are protected and the system doesn't protect those that bring harm to them. I dream to live in a world that has consistency and doesn't play favorites. Where our politians and leaders are of high standards and authority that we are proud to look up to. Last but not least I Have A Dream to live in a world of change, not just promise of change, and that change is for the better. Not just the better for the rich or the unfortunate but for all people.

Now on a lighter note...I Have A Dream to live in a place with warm weather all year round. A place that everyday is a party and a time to have fun with family and friends. I Have a Dream to live in a world where calories are never counted and exercise is for the fun of it not because you have to. A place of clearance sales on every rack and chocolate on every corner. And once again, last but not least, I Have A Dream to live in a place where children always obey their parents, take naps when told, and are kind to their siblings.

I don't think any of these things are too much to ask for. So in honor of MLK day I challenge everyone to think about their dreams. Think about what it would mean to you to have all your dreams come true.