The Threshold of Doubt

              It has been a million years since I wrote a blog post, and there are a million reasons why. However, that doesn't mean I haven't thought about writing one a million times. I guess one of the reasons why is that I haven't been moved to the point to feel inspired to write one. This changed this past Sunday while listening to the sermon at church. We were sitting in the same service, same pew, with the same people surrounding us as in weeks before, but for some reason this was the week I felt inspired. Call it what you will, but I felt a need to take notes because I was going to write about what was being said. 

              Let me start off by setting the stage. It was a start of a new sermon series titled "The Grave Robber". This is coming right after the series we just finished up about marriage, which Darin thought was appropriate. (Just kidding of course;) The Grave Robber is all about how Jesus can make your impossible possible. I don't know about any one else out there, but I have alot of impossibles. As a Christian these words give me a form of hope and comfort as I face my impossibles, but then I posed a question to myself. How much do I really believe this? Don't get me wrong I BELIEVE, however I think part of my adult brain causes doubt. It causes doubt, not just about the sermon I was listening to, or the beliefs that I believe but with about everything I encounter in my life. There is always doubt! With doubt comes stress, with stress comes more worries then for most of us then we want to admit, these worries consume us. I HATE IT! 

              So back to how Jesus can make the impossible possible. As a first grade teacher at a Christian school I teach Bible to my students every single day. Most of our Bible curriculum tells the stories of the miracles that Jesus performed during his life here on earth. One thing I love about my first grade babies is their minds are like little sponges and they soak up everything that I have to say. Well most of the time anyway:) On a daily basis we talk about Jesus turning water into wine, Jesus walking on water, how he made the blind to see and the lame to walk, and how he can heal the sick. All of the same stories I was taught at their age in my Sunday school class. Just like my students when I was their age I would listen to these stories my teachers were telling me and have no doubt in my mind that they really happened. Sure Jesus walked on water, and sure Jesus turned five fish into five thousand and of course Jesus rose from the dead. I had absolutely no doubt these stories were true the same way my students today believe every word  of each story. Why wouldn't they believe? We teach them and tell them that every story in the Bible is true, I believe it myself, and I would never teach them something I didn't believe myself. 

             As I was sitting listening to my preacher on Sunday a thought came to my mind. When and where is the threshold where we stop believing everything we are told and taught, and start to doubt everything we are told and taught? I cannot pin point the exact time I stopped just knowing the miracles of the Lord were real, and when the shadow of doubt started to invade my mind. Then I thought how nice it would be to have the mindset of a child again. Not in every way, just in the way that they believe with their whole heart. Again, please don't get me wrong. I believe in all of these things but when it comes to my own life why do I have so much doubt? Why do I believe he performed all of these miracles then but for some reason he won't now? The most frustrating thing to me is that I have seen Him perform miracles in my life, more than once. He brought me my Ava after she defied all medical odds. He brought Trei into our lives so effortlessly you just know it was His will. I have seen these things over and over again, but still I doubt. That's the thing about Satan he creeps in when your guard is down. He creeps in and puts that doubt in your mind. The doubts about your marriage, your finances, your children, in every area of your life! Why do I give my big problems over to Him, but save all the smaller problems to deal with on my own. That's the thing about small problems, though. They band together and gang up on you. Several small problems can easily turn into one big problem. So why do I completely believe Jesus died, was put in a tomb and rose three days later, but I don't believe he can help me figure out how to communicate with my husband the way I should? Why do I believe Jesus parted the seas, but when it comes parenting my children it doesn't always enter my mind to pray about it? There is a reason he made me pick that pen and paper up on Sunday morning, and I can't wait for Him to reveal it to me. Thank you Matt Stieger for bringing such powerful messages to us each and every Sunday! Just know your words are important and you are appreciated!